Yo dont text me then not text me
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
