"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
