yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
