he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
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