how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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