Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
