You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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