I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
How does it feel to date your dad?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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