Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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