I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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