My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
