What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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