Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
These tits shall not be calmed
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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