Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
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I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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