Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
