'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
