Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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