She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
only if we run a train.
done.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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