Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
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Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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