My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
