I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
