I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
