What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
