He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
