doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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