Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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