My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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