didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
