I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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