I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
