3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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