We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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