Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
