This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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