"it" just moved
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
