you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
