I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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