I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
