In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
