Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize