chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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