Me. At least after what I've been through.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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