he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
How external is "for external use only"?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
