Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
