I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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