If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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