Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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