so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
