Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
