Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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