We named our party play list daddy issues
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
can u get pink eye on your cock?
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so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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