is your mom at the bar?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
