just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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