Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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