Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
