So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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