You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
