i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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