dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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