exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
