His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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