Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
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I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize