I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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