He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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